So far I have inscribed n etched a special slot for  “Mother Mary”, “Queen Esther”,   “Jyoti BHABHI”,  “Julie”,  “Queen Cleopatra”,  & my favourite “Stars”, who lie marked in my heart; in my previous posts!!! Yet, there remains few more that follow suit!!!

       The next on the list is….AYN RAND. Until my late teens I was only aware of her as an authoress, her book being “Fountainhead”, which I never got down to read. Later, when I was busy in my “Hasratein” days, my director’s wife would insist me, to read Ayn’s “Atlas Shrugged”, but somehow I couldn’t avail the time to do so. One fine day, at the shoot in a bungalow, her assistant lay hands on a copy of Atlas shrugged, n darted for us! Now the issue was that who would peruse the book first, me or him! I was cool but was given the obvious preference! I walked in home with the book, slightly guilty that I now possessed the book due to my star value & moreover it wasn’t in the least my property!

 However I got down to reading it, the more I read, the more possessive I grew over the book, I simply couldn’t part with it! I was in a world of its own concept n values, I found myself relating to it, discovered that my ideals did match so strongly, I had always believed in it, dreamt of it , loved every bit of it! When I finished reading, the two things I did right after was….bought the whole collection of Ayn Rand, be it fiction, non-fiction or her philosophies!!! Secondly, I would buy new copies of it n gift them to people who showed even the slightest inclination/interest towards it!  Internally, I knew why this was happening! The bible says…as you sow, so shall you reap! What had I done?  I had brought a free copy that probably belonged to some- one, & then, bought copies of it for so many people. You see, in this world n life itself, in a certain respect, we pay the price of our deeds, I strongly believe in so!!!

Coming to the woman I adore, Any Rand,  a gifted writer like her has to be so profoundly experienced, so profusely intense & so immensely  deep-rooted!!! I am just in love with her, marvel at her reflection, her aptitude, her communication & her insight! People who criticize her,  who run her down on the pretext of “capitalism”,  merely seem  to me,  certain  pseudo characters, emerging from her very books,  her  concept of…”anti-socials”, “murderers of mankind”!!!  I will always pay my salutations to her!!!

The next on the list are….”.RANIJI”…my Pastor & “Satinderji”, her partner!  Both of whom I endearingly look up to!!!

 Another belief of mine is, that at times, some people who have harmed you in life; turn around at some point in life & do you a favour, be it intentionally/unintentionally. Just like certain situations/circumstances that may pose quite adverse to tackle or bear, but with time, they turn out to be for your everlasting good!!!  After all, it’s written in the bible, that our God (YAHOWAH  NISSI),  will always fight our battle for us, deliver us from our enemies, hand over victory to us & lay our “Banquet table”, right in front of our foes !  Our God topples the adverse tables that are schemed for our doom…for our ultimate benefit!!! I have witnessed it many a times!  

       Let me tell you of one case, when I was in my teens, doing a couple of films,  I met a dress-designer named…”P”, she was designated for my costumes n was related to a veteran actress, who was also in the same film. So I trusted her n asked her to revamp my wardrobe for me. She made me buy expensive materials from the best of shops, & also took a hefty amount for tailoring them…. & ….disappeared!!! I was shaken up with the experience, realised that no one is worthy the trust. After many years, we finally met, at the sets of “HUM SAAT-AATH HAI”, for Star plus; as she was handling the costumes of it. She had no choice but to feign amnesia! I too kept mum on the past issue, for many months of working together. She almost believed that I hadn’t recognised her. One day, when the entire cast was present, she coolly joined us in our discussion of zodiacal signs, kept enquiring of each one’s star-sign, when she turned towards me, I told her…”P, I am a Sagi n I remember you being a Libran!”  She froze…that in spite of so many years, I remembered her sun-sign, so obviously I knew her all this while!!!

 Later she came to me with a pounding heart & apologised for her past misdeeds, confessed to being a misled person in those years. I forgave her, & told her that “I believe in “Jesus”…& for years have been longing to partake in a company of “His” people, but didn’t know whom to turn to for so”! …Now!… It was shocking for me… when she replied that she had turned into a Christian, & it was Jesus who had transformed her for the good & she knew the right person n place for me to dwell in the company of HIS people. At this… the scenario altered, it was me now, whose heart was pounding with anxiety, & I didn’t want to waste a single minute on past grievances, but pestered her to introduce me to that right person of Jesus!!! Yes, this was the favour done to me by the person who had wronged me ages back, & to whom I am grateful for the favour, in return, I choose to bear amnesia towards her mistakes of the past!!!

Through “P”, I finally met the woman responsible for my concrete destiny towards THE JESUS I loved from my birth!!! I met RANIJI!!! A woman of multi-dimensions! In her presence I felt… the love of Jesus, the values of Queen Esther, the propriety of Jyoti Bhabhi, the edification of Ma’m Julie, the command of the “Stars”, the dignity & fore-sight of Queen Cleopatra, the spunk of Ayn Rand…felt all the magnetic specifications that I have been pulled towards at various stages of my life, the establishmentism of all the women that I had adored!!! I felt perfect & blissful!!!

She was pleasantly surprised that I had not come to Jesus for any worldly need, but to know more of HIM, whom I already knew; whereas people came for needs, knowing of HIM & then knew HIM!!! A case reversal in all terms!!! I tried my best to grasp as much as I could from her, in our “House”of JESUS CHRIST. My gratitude will never ebb for her…as she gave me a new life in Jesus, she baptized me as per my long-desired penchant, she was also the priestess & the sole authority of my wedding, her preaching has transfused in me…a radical absolute!!!

Via Raniji I met… Satinderji… her partner in every respect! A woman of few words, soft-spoken, gentle, loving… bearing the spiritual fruits, & firm in her faith, discipline & strongly blessed with the spiritual gift of discernment!!! We have our own little joke to share. Once, when I was very new in the group, I had joined them for an out-station preaching n healing campaign, least aware that they all were on a fast; by the time we reached our destination, I was famished. Without any fuss,  Satinderji, in her fasting state,  lovingly cooked an omelette sandwich, reserved only for me; probably it was no big deal in her eyes, but that very moment onwards, she carved a place in my heart, equivalent of Mother Mary!!! To this day, Raniji teases me, saying that if they have to convince me to do something, they will just recall the incident of the omelette, & there, I go all ears, gooey-eyed, & a stickler of obedience, for the sake of Satinderji… & we laugh it loud!!! Oh mine! Do I adore them…. you bet…Yessssss!!!  A family for me…in spirit & in truth!!!


1 Comment

  1. Seema, you are looking rich in all respect.

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