The recent embellishment in regard to the controversial involvement of our great Indian Icon Shahrukh Khan versus certain pseudo nationals, that hit the headlines, was certainly blown out of proportion, & it kept me fretting n fuming! A sheer incomprehensible prototype of depraved mentalities, who can go to any length, to malign & tarnish the reputation n image of anyone, who opposes them in their treacherous path n unscrupulous ways!!!

To top, many renowned adversaries gathered as uncouth judges to cluck their tongues n spew uncalled-for “expert comments”, least realising that neither they were witness to it,  nor were they aware of the facts, all reacting on mere hearsay! The least they could have done was to refrain from forcing their inconsiderate opinions of Shahrukh. It’s so easy for them to unflinchingly blame a celebrity, & run him down. Would they have reacted in any different way, had they been trapped in a similar situation, as his? It’s quite convenient to preach, but definitely not practical!

All Shahrukh fans know for sure that he is not in the least an unreasonable person. Besides his good looks, charm, acting calibre, brilliant performances, professionalism, he is a person of intellect, wit, humour, etiquettes, sound background & he is well-read n well -groomed!!! Not to forget that he is humane too!!! A family person and a doting father!

Whether he was drunk or not, only he would know best, but there is a major difference in downing a couple of drinks & being drunk! It’s anyway not logical enough that a person of his stature, who has the responsibility of fetching so many children, at that hour of the night, would be sozzled n wayward! Even a sober person can react in a similar fashion, when provoked by any kind of injustice or offense.  And here was Shahrukh Khan, not any commoner, or a nonentity or a con man!!! He surely should have been dealt with respect n caution… he is of course SPECIAL! Not an outlaw!!!

The attitude n allegations of the authorities isn’t shocking as what more can one expect out of them, all of it was created in self defence n to safeguard their misconduct. It was pathetic to witness the reactions & assessments of Shobha De n likes! Hard to digest! They kept talking of equality, money (???), image & national integrity! Also nasty comments were made like he is going through mid-life crisis & lack of work…..eh eh eh…give Sharukh a break!!! It was also mentioned that Shahrukh has lost on many of his fans with such behaviour!?! Huh! Forgive Lord, for they know not what they are saying!!!

 Let me clarify that Shahrukh has not lost his fans but has won even more hearts with his stand! People have all the love, awe n admiration for him doubled in them. He is man enough to oppose such a foul play n an assault! What image or behaviour is being talked of? In a situation like that wherein his children have been manhandled & his prestige has been attacked by all norms of decency flouted, will he take it in a sissy manner just for the sake of an image? He has an image in any case, he does not need to build it or be conscious about it, especially when confronted in an incident like that, where he was purely a father n a human being, not just a super star! Is he not a human-being too with emotions & a certain amount of sensitivity!!! Can image outgrow such humiliation and hurt???

What mid-life crisis & work frustration is being talked of?? Goodness! He is too wise n refined to mature or age gracefully & too successful n desired to face any lows… not yet! Rather, people discussing him in such a distasteful manner had frustration marked on their faces, who go out of their ways to chitchat crap for the sake of publicity n exposure! They should have a peek in their past also & really need to better their works n image rather than pointing their distort fingers at Shahrukh Khan!!!

What do they mean by equality here?? Is pulling down Shahrukh Khan, the pride of India, to a shoddy level….EQUALITY??? To satiate one’s vengeful ego n thereby demand an unworthy apology….EQUALITY??? Or is being mercenary in the name of envy….EQUALITY???

Oh yes!!! There are also pleas to shut down IPL, due to a couple of other incidences too; but how is IPL connected or concerned with personal issues & happenings? When so much grosser is anyway taking place all round, why is that given a deaf ear n a blind eye? Why no actions n reactions to that? Some ministers were caught watching porno material in the cabinet, so would they shut down the cabinet? Then why is IPL being targeted? At least it’s far far better than the grave scenario of our country! Or is the hue and cry due to the IPL not warming the hands of certain greed mongrels???

However!!! Never the less I prefer to support n applaud SHAHRUKH KHAN, for being himself, than the dubious elements of our society! His outburst proves his being true to himself n his loved ones, his being unaffected by his phenomenal stardom & image!!! KUDOS to SHAHRUKH KHAN. Your fans adore you even much more!!!  



 I often tread unceasingly, on the fantasia path of euphoric love,

Candidly, all ominous phobias that impend, I recklessly shove.

Following hypnotically the silver gleam of that starry moment,

Reaching for the unfeasible target, that’s enticingly dominant.

Fervidly believing that I would this time sure-footedly succeed,

All my previous traumata, I would hereafter positively recede.

Eradicating the searing hurt embedded in my heart and mind,

I would engrave an idealistic milestone of its own sweet kind.

Presto! Oh do I? Do I hear and feel a familiar appalling alarm,

Or is it just my sub-conscious playing its hallucinating charm.

I halt, ponder, assure-re-assure, to the dismay of my affected pace,

Gosh! I head further to be led to entwine & entangle in a tangible lace.

I scream for my miraculous knight to unshackle me by his golden sword,

Engulf me in his steely embrace, reciprocating by this deserving reward.

Oh! I do hear the hoofs, I do hear the clattering of his ironic chains,

Yes! I sniff his aromatic presence & I stretch for his horse’s reins.

Alas! But my sight is in for a victimized shock, my mouth agape,

A Satan behind the mask butchers me to infinity via a mass rape.

I drop dead with a thud on the spot, like a metamorphic vegetable,

Never had I been more lost, disillusioned, grieved, bloody & vulnerable.

At last the clanking fades, vision blurs & finally the horror subsides,

My body twitches, my nerves & veins take drastic roller coaster rides.

I attempt to gather myself, convinced that it was an erroneous lane taken,

Least aware, tender hearts are invariably led to the route of the forsaken.



  1ST NOVEMBER 1996.


JOHN 1:1 says…In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God!!! PSALMS 33:6 says…By the Lord’s decree*the heavens were made; by a mere Word from His mouth all the stars in the sky were created*. Luke 11:28 says… Blessed are those who hear the Word of God and obey it!!! The Bible reveals to us that that the Word was, is & will remain…the everlasting God!!! Through the Holy Book we also learn about the spiritual warfare, and also how the Satan Lucifer was banished from the heavens above for his intention to counterfeit God; he was forced to nose dive on earth & rules it ever since by all his treacherous ways in his make belief World! If “L” (Lucifer) is removed from the “worLd”… we have the Word (GOD)… this is the true secret/formula/standard to sustain our selves on planet earth, by bringing the Kingdom of GOD & to abide in His will. So, to live by the norms of the Word is…to live in obedience of God with Him as our sole Master& Saviour, but, to live by the norms of the world is…to follow the counterfeit god, the Satan, the Anti Christ!!!


Let us survey the world in which we live our daily lives, to the people,   situations, circumstances & fields/ areas/ fraternity, we connect/belong/deal/relate to!!! What is happening around us? Are we living in a perfect or ideal world? Are we peaceful? Satisfied? Happy? Dreams fulfilled to the core? The people we interact with? How is the generation of the past present and future? Up to the mark? Is anything or anyone up to the mark? Let us look beyond the superficial level and facade, is there perfection, truth, permanence, love, peace, joy, bliss???


Let us typically begin from our home and families! An acute scrutiny at the members will reveal the innermost facts at once! There will be spouses, parents, grandparents, children, siblings, relatives living in one or the other sphere of constant dissatisfaction, complain, insecurity (mental, emotional, physical, financial, social), jealousy, infidelity, greed, suspicion, covetousness, abuse, exploitation, depression, tension, accusations, allegations, misunderstanding, dominance, subjugation, past sorrows or laurels, incompetence, fault finding, incompatibility, impoverished, sickly, retaliation, revolt, directionless, rivalry, lonely, broken-hearted, hopeful, bickering, nagging, partiality, prejudice, plotting, petty or evil doings, comparisons, torture of sorts, pride, ego, insults, superiority/inferiority complexes, confusions, dilemma, unhygienic, ill treatment, etc. etc. etc…….huh…do I need to mention more, though this must be 10% of what actually exists!!!

Have a look at the work place! Colleagues/co-workers trying to run you down by every possibility, rather than being a helping hand or encouraging, they wait for mistakes, indulge in criticism n backbiting, they loathe your success, detest your perfection, spread false rumours, remain tongued tied for compliments/praise, play endless politics, cause frictions to divide n rule. Had they concentrated rather on themselves by channelizing all the energy on their work, they would have fared equally!!! But the more incapable they are of good work, the more the malice! Such double-faced crooks!!!

Whereas the bosses expect to extract from you as much as they can by defying all laws of professionalism and humanity; but when its due time to pay back for the services rendered, in cash or reward, they get a convulsion  to a degree of a heart stroke! But they do not bat an eye to the several corporate goons they keep recruited at the premises, who just prance around with an air so bloated that if noticed by the boss himself, in no time they would be sacked. But the irony is that in front of the boss they are tail wagging dogs who thrive on their respecting bones by catering to falsehoods and nurturing the boss’s weak ears with so!!!

How about schools, colleges, institutes???  Are they safe enough for the children/teens/adolescents of our times? Are they away from bribery, exploitation, favouritism, discrimination, condemnation, unhealthy n unfit standards and scenarios? If so then there would not be endless cases of abused & tortured students in the hands of the assumable refined authorities.

How about hospitals and doctors? Where uncompassionate racketeers of exploitation, crimes, profit making roam around so scot-free! Where the business of abortions, organ trafficking, contaminated blood transfusions, false reports, exchanging/ robbing infants, gory exploitation of the children and both the sexes is becoming so common yet hair raising!

Aye! Throw the spotlight on our national security people, our police, and army/air force/navy people! There too are certain herds of frustrated/ lecherous people, who protect the country and humans less, & inflict atrocities on a much higher and gruesome level! Corrupted souls, who can go to any extent to manhandle the country n countrymen by their dubious position and power!!! Can also go to any levels of trading country secrets & ammunition!!!

What about the law and the several black attired advocates and judges of so! Are they ethical enough to pay justice to anyone and that too on time, or their verdict is mostly influenced by the crispy green notes offered; that too after a painful ordeal of dates & dates  in a row for years, by the time the matter is so stale that there is no further desire left in an individual to seek justice!

Ah! How can we leave aside our religious leaders; who expect us to walk a walk of righteousness with God? If you closely observe them, they are far far away from God, His path & His righteousness! Their only “mantra “is to crush the poor souls to the dust on moral grounds & empty their pockets in the name of charity, while they never exile/deprive themselves of the worldly luxuries n comforts. They indulge in all sorts of evil practices in the name of religion and God, making false images of Gods, wasting money n time in legalism, brain washing people into “tantras”/” “mantras”, human n child exploitations n sacrifices, false doctrines etc. etc.; is God even remotely with them?! I doubt!!!

Our dear dear media people!!! Can we exempt them out of our topic? No way José!!! Well they work less for the rights of humanity and more for the big wigs! Every issue or event is shown in a different light altogether! False claims and headings are highlighted more for impact rather than the real plight of the victim or situation, where the facts are actually reduced to inconspicuous prominence!!! All is manipulated for their vested/saleable interests only.


Come to the sports arena, how many are fit n sturdy? How many have got the opportunity of their lifetime to prove their talent or aptitude? How many have the aids n facilities, which belong to them? How many value sportsmanship & how many value rigged shows n match fixing? How many take the aid of a good diet, exercise, building their stamina or training well & how many just rely on doses of drugs/steroids!!! Are they playing for their nations or are they playing with themselves???

How about the government, its offices/units/bodies, the members of the parliament, the so called white collared beings, who possess and deal with nothing of truth or white, except their starched white attires! The white collars/ bureaucrats, impose taxes in the name of development, is it to the mark??? The gold collars/aristocrats, impose mills n malls in the name provision, is it to the mark??? The black collars/legal acrobats, impose law n order in the name of justice, is it to the mark??? The blue collars/ the labouring artefacts of mankind, impose hefty wages in the name of workmanship, is it to the mark???


You see this was just a glimpse, a peek into the world we live in! The magnitude of the world is equivalent to the magnitude of depravity existing simultaneously in its society! A world, wherein, it’s insane people, are engrossed/submerged in all sorts of clandestine activities. Where murder, theft, kidnapping, extortions, treachery, smuggling, deception, false doctrines, impostors, rapes, adultery, human trafficking, human sacrifices, devil worship, idolatry, fake livelihood have just no dearth! Children are ill treating parents, killing them too on petty issues n desires, so are the parents in certain cases! Children are brutally killed, raped, murdered, used; leave aside the adults!  And so on and so much more!!!

The World has such extortive demands that it takes us to the verge of being suicidal….BUT the WORD has such simple n pure demands/commands/laws that it has the power to lead us to an everlasting life!!!… The laws are the TEN COMMANDMENTS!!! What is it? Have a look at its simplicity n holiness!

1: Thou shalt have no other gods before me!!!       

 2: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image!!!

3: Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain!!!

4: Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy!!!

5: Honour thy father and thy mother!!!

6: Thou shalt not kill!!!

7: Thou shalt not commit adultery!!!

8: Thou shalt not steal!!!

9: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour!!!

10: Thou shalt not covet!!!


Are you amazed to know that it is as simple as this! Yes it is!!! But the conflicting world has confused the belief of mankind; and the bible says that confusion is not from God, so you can imagine who has crept in bearing confusion! No wonder mankind has been flouting these simple commandments right from 1 to 10. It has worshipped all other false gods like power, money, work, success, desires etc. BUT GOD! It has always handmade images n idols of God n worshipped it! How can men make the God who has created them? To top, they dwell in a fallacy n teach others to believe the logic that God comes n dwells in the idol of their choice! How many times we take God’s name in vain, by swearing, that too without any meaning or commitment, how many times we take His name just for an impact, or to spread His dread, or to accuse someone, or, for our vested interests! Do we bother to keep ourselves holy for Him? Do we chalk out a day or hours especially for Him? Or is a Friday/Saturday/Sunday, a holiday to freak out, a day meant for clubbing, going to pubs n to dance away without any meaning to it! You see, we ape certain cultures without realizing what the day was actually meant for! Do we pay respect to our parents or elders, or, are they really the ones, who ought to be respected & looked up to??? Are there not brutal killings, thefts, adulteries taking place, even though nothing is permanently beneficial!

Jesus said the biggest commandments are 1: Love & serve thy God with all thy heart, mind & strength!!! 2: Love thy neighbour as thine own self!!!  Do we… rather ironically…. can we! Neighbours who are so covetous, jealous, self centred, outright mean & full of complexities; and so are we!!!

 I believe it’s better to refrain from such covetous people in order to resist evil, than to hate them & dwell in bitterness which again can be very self destructive!!! Believe me I have been living on this one self imposed rule; it helps me in many ways & keeps me from sinning/ breaking the law of God!!! Though I sincerely seek His forgiveness for any kind of compromise in my obedience to Him & His Word!!!

What can really help us to live in this world is…following the prayer Jesus taught us, to pray n understand it, in spirit & in truth……” Our Father who is in heaven, holy be Your Name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us today our daily bread & forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us, lead us not into temptations, but deliver us from all evil, for Yours is the kingdom, and the power & the glory forever and ever….Amen & Amen!!!        




      The recent wave of Annaji has swept all n sundry with its electrifying tide! For years I was praying to come across a person, who would stand for the people of India, be their voice, well versed with their cries n agony, bring about not just an awakening but bring a renaissance; a revival; for the rights & birth rights of the countrymen… not just… specific common men!

    I was very excited to witness Annaji & Kiran Bediji! My respect multiplied by leaps & bounds for them; as, like any other Indian, I too hope & wish for the upgrading, prosperity n progress of every Indian; as this indeed is the matter of our life & death, our existence, our future!

      Being fully aware of the plight of us Indians, over the past endless decades, I personally feel & agree too, that it is no different from the times of the reign of foreigners! Where lifestyle/development/evolution is concerned, this too would have taken place even then, with the advent of every new era & modern times! So what’s the big deal! What can the leaders of today actually boast of? At least the ratio of crime, corruption, inflation, justice, riots & bomb blasts etc. etc. was far far lesser then, than today!!!

    I also wished that we should have more & more people like Annaji, Kiranji & likes, so that we do not have to be dependent on one person & wait upon him alone! The more the better, as then there would be several such honest & daring people, who would not just stand for the cause but also get it implemented, by dividing & sharing the burden & responsibility of Annaji! I loved the response & fervour of the people towards Annaji, & prayed that it should never subside or die off… rather this fervour should always be there, not only for a particular person, but for the nation & the rights of its people; with new lucrative ideas & system, for the betterment of all!

     Today, with the speech of Annaji, I was left speechless! My heart bled to realise where this wave was flowing towards! People are calling him a Messiah! Hah!!! When Jesus Christ, the true Messiah had come, he did not preach, heal or save only a selective clan or a sect, he had come to save the entire mankind & die for each & every person born on planet Earth! Whoever understood & believed became His follower, no wonder His faith multiplied & crossed every territory, every ocean, and every boundary! Why? Because Jesus stood for everyone, His cause and sacrifice was not in favour of a selective few!!! That’s the reason why we “Born Agains”, do not practice religion, but we strongly adhere to a true relationship with God!!!

       Explicitly, Annaji’s mission should have been a cause for all the Indians, as the Indians unfortunately do consist of the higher, middle & lower classes! Why then Annaji addressed & spoke for the concerns of only farmers/ Dalits/labourers, & thereby deviated from the actual root cause…. corruption…. which every Indian is facing!  Indians are not just farmers/ dalits/ labourers!!! So why in his speech Annaji was only concerned of the welfare of certain people? Why the welfare of the rest was dismissed or over looked? This certainly gave me a chill!

     There is a suffering in our nation; the entire populace is suffering, especially the Middle class, then why are the sympathies reserved for only the selective lot! Are we not aware of the sufferings, suicides & frustrations of the middle-class too, in spite of sound backgrounds & education, are the middle-class not burdened of responsibilities, taxes, social enigma, vulnerability, bribe & dowry issues etc. etc.! In fact when Annaji was on his “Anshan” (hunger strike), the crowd supporting him majorly, consisted of the…Middle-class! The other two classes were sitting cool in their respective abodes.

       It is sad that we are yet forced to mention the” classes” even today…but it is the stark reality! In the past there was a caste system prevailing, thanks to Vidyasagar, Raja Rammohan Roy & many others, who with their steadfast stand achieved in abolishing it entirely! But classes do prevail. If one pictures the classes, then the synonyms that come in mind is….the high class: pride, power & ego! The lower class: big mouths asking for more & more, long hands that want to grab it all & appetites that are never sated! The rich manage to get their way with the ease of a maestro, the poor have nothing to hide, therefore no shame! But what do the middle-class have & die for…”izzat” & “sharam” (honour & self respect)! The rich & the poor in reality have nothing much to lose, but the middle-class is the endangered lot! If they lose on any of it, it is “FINITO’ for them!

    I remember as a child, my mom always threw fits of fury, whenever some labour class messed up with her! She would say the choicest of things, it hurt me because I would reason that all are human –beings, then why discriminate! As I grew up, I realised she was fair in a way! There is a particular class, mostly, however much you do for them, but they never dwell in obligation,gratitude or sincerity! They forget your goodness with the wink of an eye, there have been innumerous cases with the domestic helps too, however you treat them like family members, they break all rules, by thefts, murders, & all sorts of betrayal! Yet all the sympathies are reserved for this lot, all reservations are made for this particular class. Hence… the term…”equality”… is most mis- used!

      Has anyone realised that the rich & the middle class have obediently restricted themselves on child bearing, but the “minority”, is least bothered or worried. Check out on orphan .houses, you will know the ratio! They are the ones who are multiplying drastically…look around! With “equality” & “reservations”, not only are they favoured by an undeserving platter, but, if continued…. imagine…the inter mingling of such a class with the blue blood! What would the times ahead bear for us? Donot forget that all gory n criminal infiltrations & nuisances in our society, is mostly caused by such sources. Ayn Rand pinpointed to it in certain ways, but certain social/political elements hated her for obvious sympathies, & categorized her as a Capitalist! So then, now be prepared for what you will have to face in the near future… you see, too much pampering can spoil & take a different shape.

     However, what I want to say is…. treat everyone equally, but to snatch from one’s hands & give it to the other, for the sake of generosity & charity is not….EQUALITY! So Annaji should be careful that it is not so easy or simple to deal with such a delicate & sensitive matter, by just being idealistically concerned for the selective few! There are the others too, who strife not to look deprived but are the actual deprived! My worries n sympathies are with the middle-class, are they going to be yet left in the lurch! Pampering one &neglecting the other can lead to such dreadful consequences… has not history faced it and is yet facing in certain areas!!!

     We say we live in a “democratic country” but the fact is that our democracy has no tolerance for people’s opinions…we rather live in a… “diplomatic country”….where diplomats rule the roost & the countrymen, out of fear, have learnt to live in diplomacy too, the best way to safeguard them selves with! They never state the truth openly, but usually veil it with diplomatic words & a poltically correct attitude! Annaji & likes, I pray, focus on the middle-class too, and become a resounding voice for them! Since his mission/cause should not have been just the issues of the lower classes,… but the masses!!! God bless our nation & us….COUNTRYMEN!!!


The sardonic stillness of this stagnated, traumatic eerie night,

Is brutally killing me bit by bit with its icy overpowering might.


  I am awfully lonesome, so crudely abandoned, as none is with me

Except my earnest pets, dog Caeser, cat Crass & Julie, my lovely she.


They vivaciously awake with me, drowsily sleep in sheer pleasure,

Together we share exquisite moments, which we positively treasure.


 We dote on one another, our hearts, our souls are unanimously one,

We pine for each other, any space for iniquity, we undoubtedly shun.


 How contrary to the strange humans prevailing on this strange earth,

Where malice, treachery & fast fallible scruples have just no dearth.


 Time has indeed drastically changed, all sprinting on the fast lane,

Whereas integrity, empathy, endearment are stamped in disdain.


 The route is of endless temptations, the rule is of no holds barred,

Mechanised bodies, blood a white fluid, humanity entirely jarred.


  These nonchalant beings boldly proclaim to thrive & rule the roost,

”Survival of the fittest”, renders to their bloated egos, a solid boost.


 Condemned are often the meek, the puritans, by these sons of Satan,

But behold! Aren’t we all from dust & unto dust shall we all return.


  Why do they recklessly head towards the eternal blazing fire of hell,

Why designate one to that creepy abode, where slimy demons dwell.


  Why not liberate from the captive clutches of ludicrous temptation,

To lead an immaculate longevity of eternity & God’s gifted salvation.


  So let’s all sacredly kneel & entreat to our Lord, the Almighty above,

To sermonize sanctity & retain the rectitude of His prodigious love.


  For this darkness to forfeit to the glorious dawn that’s much awaited,

To infuse lives with inexhaustible bliss, afflictions forever depleted.


          8TH JUNE 1996.

An SOS…. From my in-laws

One of the Ten Commandments state …“Honour thy father and mother”.  The irony of life is that how at times simple things can pose to be so complicated & also vice versa. Hence, struggles commence within n reach the core, in an effort to combat the queasy restlessness that lies within, being aware of the stark reality that lingers around! Yet there is a dogma at hand, that, in faith cannot be refuted, but prevailing conditions make it so difficult to abide with, by each passing day!

Such is my case, wherein, I sincerely desire to live & abide… by my faith…through the faith and… for the faith! The 10 commandments/10 laws & the two major laws that our Savior Jesus commanded us to adhere to, is the ultimate conduct of any Christian, the base of christianism! I too would not wish to go against His will, yet it becomes so cumbersome when one comes across some unscrupulous people who belong to a world of treachery & abide by deceitful ideals! No holds barred in their vested & manipulative endeavours!

Here also is a case of a father and mother, supposed to be honoured, but are they worthy of so… is my dilemma! Well, they are the parents of my husband! How typical? No… they are yards further!


When I had first met my husband, some 6 years back… I was least interested in men, (not that I was interested in women, a taboo in my faith too!), I was going through a state of disillusion towards men, mankind & “love”!  A.J.(my hubby), seemed so opposite of me in every respect, yet, we clicked! Therefore I decided to return our rapport with a favour; I decided to make him my brother! Though it surprised me too, as I was not in the least in practice of making brothers either!

In a couple of days we were painting the town red together, maintaining our brotherly-sisterly affection! We were even together on the Valentines, not confessing love but confessing our innermost secrets! I even permitted him to visit me at my place, a rare practice, reserved for only a few chosen ones! At times I wondered what was in him for which I was breaking my own self imposed rules! I casually shrugged off the signs by being convinced that he was just a good guy, rarely to be found & yes….if I had come across someone like him in my life, I surely would have married him, BUT this one is a brother!

 What is destined…is destined! However hard you try to stick to your convictions, what is written, will take place & much later, one grasps the other side of it! All the time I spent with A.J., not once I could gage that he was my… would be husband! Soon a day arrived which worked totally in the favour of our actual destiny, & here were we, gaping at each other with this new angle/twist to our relationship! You bet! We did not waste any time brooding over the present situation, & whole heartedly accepted each other and welcomed this fresh prospect, wittingly in our lives, for keeps!  Amen!

Now it was our moral & social obligation to declare it to our parents & the society. A.J. was very confident that his parents would accept us as they loved him beyond anything on earth! I knew my dad would not take it sportingly..as A.J was younger than me! Surprisingly. .. It turned out to be a reversed scenario. My dad gave in after clearing certain doubts but A.J.’s parents were unpredictable! On receiving the news they wanted to ponder over it for a day, the next day his mom called him up, (as they reside in some other city), & threatened to kill herself! Yet, a day later, they announced that they would soon visit us & sort things out, & finally when they arrived, they were singing another tune! It seemed so messy that it led me through a series of mental trauma! A.J. was forced to announce “Quits” to me!!!

After a couple of days spent in dismay, I receive a call from his mom that she wants to meet me, as she was not comfortable staying with A.J.’s  room-mate’s  mom,  as the two had picked up some foolish squabble over some petty household matters! Once we met, all seemed to go pretty well. A.J. & I were happy for so, but it was short lived, as the next day, she was back on her pranks!

Soon his father arrived too & after a major heated discussion with the son, surprisingly decided to meet me. Both the parents dropped in, I was prepared for the obvious questions to be poured at me, but was taken aback when the only questions darted at me were…. How big was my apartment? How many square feet? How many rooms? What’s the existing price of so? Etc.  Etc. It put me off but I remained poised.  After a couple of hours of cross examining, they took us for dinner & announced that they were in favour of our marriage, as they found me to be an angel,(larki toh Pari hai), & expected me to be a daughter to them! I by all means wanted to oblige!

Once they left after a rosy picture, they never stuck to their words n commitments. Each day would bring in a new story, a new accusation, and a new game! In seconds they altered their words from person to person, at first I thought they were fickle-minded, but soon we started grasping the situation.  We got aware of their black intentions &their dubious character. Finally we gave up on waiting upon them & the line was drawn when they got down to a very filthy n abusive language! A.J.  was heartbroken when he got to face the true colours of his so called father n mother, whom he loved so dearly & had faith in. He was ashamed of them!  

On the wedding front also, they had invariably confused us by shifting their priorities on the custom of the wedding. My dad finally put his foot down when one day they mentioned that they were getting offers of marriage for their son for a crore of rupees! It was clear that they expected me to be their puppet, offer all my possession in their slimy hands. Dad then gave us a green signal to go for a court marriage.

 Oh yes! Meantime, A.J. was baptized by his own will, as the more he tasted Jesus, the more his faith perfected! He realised why I was so staunchly into Jesus! We shared our problems with our pastor Raniji, I knew my Jesus would never let me down, soon the whole church stood for us, they stood as our father and mother & organized every-thing for our wedding! So… soon we had a court & a church wedding! Nothing could have been more beautiful than this. We were the first to get married in our church & opened a way for the others to follow suit! Jesus was the centre witness of our wedding & I was elated for so! When A.J.’s parents were told of so, they were hopping mad & wanted A.J. to divorce me, right after our marriage! A.J. chose to pay no heed to them! Amen!


It has been 6 years now; they have not given up on separating us! Every call made to their son was to put him against me, least do they realize that they have lost on their son by their own deeds! A.J.  has severed all ties with them, as they tortured him on the phone, threatened him at all calls, once when he urgently needed his certificates to establish his career, they  refused to send it to him, endangering his future & career, on purpose. In the last 6 years they never bothered to aid him in any way, rather blackmailed him that they would disown him of being an heir & that he should not claim anything of his heritage, A.J. agreed to it, yet, they further troubled him ceaselessly; but never once asked of his welfare, never wished him on his birthday/ anniversary, never spoke to him lovingly or in an understanding way, all they have demanded is to abandon me & join them, obviously for their selfish reasons, the happiness n well-being of their son means nothing to them!!! 

Every year, they pop out of the blue, wander around on the sly, at the area where I reside, catch hold of my peace-loving neighbours & shop keepers & leave no grounds to malign my name, they do not realize that they are unnecessarily bothering them & us! They use all fabricated stuff like…. My Father is not my father but some old man I live with, I ask them of hefty amounts, I have done black magic on their son etc. etc.  people who know me, laugh at them, as they know who my dad is & what he means to me, I am too successful to ask of anyone for anything, I do not believe in taking anything of sinners as it is any way cursed; I as a Christian do not believe in black magic/legalism/ tantriks/ pundits/ idols etc…. rather I hate all of it & only believe in the power of the True Living God!!! There is a hindi saying that “choron ko saare nazar aate hai chor”! Least do they know that if their black magics & evil doings are not working on me is BECAUSE I HAVE JESUS!!! Nothing can work against me permanently because of Jesus!


They have made many attempts to even kidnap A.J. I can imagine what all stunts they must have tried for me too. If my death is not a natural one….then my people… know that they are responsible of it! Yet, so far they have failed to separate my husband & me… the bible says… what God puts together, no one can put it asunder!

In spite of all this, my dilemma was as to how could I refute the Ten Commandments, how could I not honour these so called.. father & mother! With time I realized that such unworthy people cannot be a mother or a father in the truest sense. People who are not biological parents can also prove to be the true father & mother; my church was a living example during my wedding! Soon… I got my answer through the bible itself….it says….refrain from evil and evil-doers! A.J & I are doing so….resisting & refraining from such EVIL!!! Over and above….who can be a better father than… Our Father in Heaven…our YAHOWAH !!! ABBA FATHER!!!

Who is a MAN !!!

       Adam… the first man on earth, was made by God in His own image! Now can one ever vividly fathom the intensity level of this declaration? In HIS image, in the image of that God who undoubtedly is the Omnipresent, Omnipotent & Omniscient! Is there any replica of the magnitude of God…Hah! Yet God had intended to make Adam so, that God, who is Wisdom, intelligence, knowledge, love, power etc. etc…name it! It takes a human genius endless decades to explore, investigate, culminate n conclude the mastermind works of God, but, which for God… Is as simple as… “Let there be light, LET THERE BE…”!

Adam was meant to be the heir to that God, all on his platter, by the sheer love of God; but how could satan digest or even swallow this glory of man, and presto, the entire future n history of mankind alters, to the point of degeneration! Why? How? The repercussion of the first man’s inappropriate choice n decision! Today the men sprawling on this earth are actually the off spring… of the… degenerated Adam!

  A man is a man who is known n acknowledged by his manhood, his attributions are likely to that of God, as he was made in His image & that is why he is supposed to be the Head, the master, the provider, the protector…just as GOD is…YAHOWA NISSI our banner of victory, YAHOWA JIREH our provider, YAHOWA ROPHA our healer, YAHOWA SHALOM our peace, YAHOWA YERI our shepherd & so on! God is an epitome of purity, love, perfection, strength, power, justice, wisdom, kindness, generosity…the one to whom we can look up to & surrender our entire beings to, just as a bride does to her bridegroom in an assurance of eternal bliss! After all she belongs to him, did God not make this clear when He made Eve out of Adam’s rib, to state once n for all that the woman is part of the man, his very being, his every-thing, his love, his companion, his confidante, his responsibility!

 A man of God is a man who is… {Not even supposed to be}…who is… PURE. Without any filth, treachery, malice, perversion, connivance, negativity, ego, pride, anger. Remember, a companion cannot be a stranger, a protector cannot be an assaulter, a friend cannot be a foe, a provider cannot be a user, a healer cannot be a tormentor, a lover cannot be a hater or a hitter, a peace-maker cannot be an abuser, a master cannot be a dictator! If it is the other way round, then he is not a MAN or MAN ENOUGH! There should be no place for such dual or dubious personalities!

The entire scenario & concept of mankind n manhood has dreadfully n drastically degenerated & is worsening as time is moving ahead. Let me describe the degenerated satanic offspring who are known or crave to be known as a man! They are a bunch of male chauvinistic beings, who walk on their homelands n homes like some aliens left loose, prying on people, their kith n kin as predators, when they open their mouths, hey gurgle n mumble some words out which can easily put The great Khali or a roaring lion to shame. They throw their weight around better than a sumo wrestler, their bloated heads are filled with baseless ego, unworthy pride, repulsive filth, unwelcomed suspicion n unresolved accusations!

Women are just objects n laurels of their conquests of lust, regarded as lowly beings, to be abused, thrashed, humiliated, suppressed, used, tortured physically/ morally/ mentally/ socially. In the bargain they forget all their prior vows n commitments made to them, least do they realize that it’s not being manly by being infidel, rather only a real man sticks to his commitments n his woman! Rather than fault finding n falsehood to safeguard his roving eye, he should know that his woman’s respect is his respect, the requirements, needs, desires n demands of his woman are but his! She is his Eve! He is answerable to every quest of her; he is to be mature & responsible for each of his/her actions n deeds. So is his case towards his children also. It’s also not just a duty but his moral n ethical obligation & prerogative!  If a man thinks that he is a man who can boost his so called polygamous nature & professional/ social status by nurturing all sorts of tricks of the trade, then he should be a man enough to stay out of relationships, Commitments & social/moral declarations. As he is then only apt for the dens n dungeons!

Who is a man…the one who is gentle, mature, loving, understanding, wise, caring, confident, strong, successful, humble, kind, generous, giving, amiable, intelligent, Fidel n the likes… or the FAKE, UNWORTHY ONE, who is harsh, uncouth, treacherous, shaky, with multiple complexes, a liar, weak, slimy, egotist, selfish, self-centered, infidel, torturous, a bird head, rude, a user n a loser!

Who is a man… the one who shelters or the one who exposes, one who defends or the one who accuses, the one who loves or the one who despises, the one who understands or the one who abuses, one who trusts or one who lays allegations, the one who remains silent or the one who brags, the one who is committed, straight, honest or the one who goes astray, dupes n cons. The one who is polished, sophisticated, well groomed, classy, an all rounder or the one who is messy, unkempt, depressed, high handed, a pseudo who bothers not at all to clear his trash or  flush the toilet n bars the kitchen to prove his manhood! Men who are not SHAMMAHS (is there for You) but shams, no wonder it is no more a man’s world, no more such men can be looked up to but rather they lower our eyes with disgust!

Look at the second Adam… Jesus… He was pure, loving, forgiving, righteous, sincere, true, and spotless; no alluring tactics of the satan ever could tempt Him & deviate Him from His path & integrity. He loved us, healed us, protected us, won us, saved us & was  “Man enough” to lay even His life for our   sake, as the power of His Word was enough; where is that mettle to be found/ re-discovered in the rest of the Adams, who unabashedly walk on planet Earth n think they are Men. Who & where is the REAL ADAM, who was made in the image of God, to whom not only women would look up to as their head but also  generations would look up to as their master & to whom even God would beamingly look at with utter pride! If only one could follow the example of Jesus Christ & not Lucifer…there would have been a MAN!!!